Written By: Brandi Lytle, of Not So Mommy…
SENSITIVE POST WITH POSSIBLE TRIGGERS: Remembering my Grandad who had Alzheimer's, discussion of various awareness ribbons, and more...
I am an extremely sentimental person. Looking at the photos and mementos on my desk, every single one holds significance. Though not all understand, things evoke memories for me, ushering in feelings from past moments…
A Special Set of Cards...
Speaking of my desk, I am sitting here looking at a stack of cards. Each one holds a letter and a picture. Now, this might seem strange that a childless woman has such an item. I mean, these cards are really meant to be used with children. But for me, they take me back to a very special moment shared with my Grandad.
You see, my Grandad battled Alzheimer’s. I was visiting him one afternoon. By this point, he didn’t talk much. And, most of the time, he didn’t remember who I was. But in this moment…
A Special Moment...
I was sitting on the sofa, and he was in his wheelchair. We were at eye level, and I noticed the cards he was holding in his hand. I asked him about them. He held them out to me, and I said, “Oh! You are going to share your cards with me?!” At that point, with a twinkle in his eye, he pulled the cards away so I couldn’t take them! My sweet, ornery Grandad was back in that moment. This memory makes me smile and tear up all at once!
After my Grandad passed away, my Mom gave those cards to me. She told me that my aunt said I should have them. I wouldn’t have asked for these cards. But I’m so glad my family thought to give them to me. Because they take me back to that amazing moment with my Grandad…
Meaningful Symbols...
My desk also holds my computer (obviously). On it is a sticker of the olive green Childless Not By Choice Awareness Ribbon, which I created. I love awareness ribbons. Perhaps I love them so much because, like my Grandad’s cards, they symbolize something so meaningful…
Different Perspectives...
You know, going back to the cards for a moment… I’ve told you my perspective of them—why they mean so much to me. They hold meaning for my aunt, too. Otherwise, she would not have thought to ask my mom to give them to me. But her perspective is different from mine. While I was an active participant, she was sitting next to me, observing. Those same cards had meaning to my Grandad, too. He was the one battling to remember the letters and items displayed on them. Honestly, he was closest to them.
And that brings me back to awareness ribbons… Not only does such a simple thing—a colored ribbon—hold deep meaning, but that meaning is unique depending on the perspective of the individual. For example, the significance of the ribbon is different for the one who battles personally versus the one sitting beside giving support. It is different for the one who overcame versus the one struggling through. But no matter the perspective, the ribbon unites a diverse group of people who want to show support, to educate and advocate about important issues.
Our Purpose...
And that’s what both Not So Mommy… (the blog I write about my infertility and childless not by choice journey), as well as the Perinatal Loss & Involuntary Childlessness Alliance (PLICA, founded by S.K. Reid) strive to do—to support, educate, advocate. That’s why I am so honored to be a PLICA Ambassador, to have been invited to by S.K. to write guest blogs for the PLICA website.
Awareness Ribbons for the Childless Community: The Series...
In this blog series, "Awareness Ribbons for the Childless Community," I will explore the meaning of various awareness ribbons that have significance within the childless tribe. I plan to start with the ribbons included in the PLICA emblem—those for Pregnancy & Infant Loss, Infertility, and Childless Not By Choice. Then, I will explore awareness ribbons which focus on women's health issues that can affect fertility, such as endometrial/uterine cancer, ovarian cancer, PCOS, endometriosis, and adenomyosis.
If there are other ribbons that you’d like me to write about, please tell me in the comments. Or if you feel more comfortable, email me. I have committed to submitting a guest blog to PLICA once a quarter. Thus, the next post in the "Awareness Ribbons for the Childless Community" Series will be published September 2020. I am honored to be a part of this community, striving to use my authentic voice to speak up and speak out for fellow childless warriors…
Brandi Lytle, founder & owner of Not So Mommy… , PLICA Ambassador, and creator of the olive green Childless Not By Choice Awareness Ribbon, is a wife, dog mom, aunt, host mom, infertile woman living an imperfectly perfect life in South Carolina, USA with her husband, Dane, and fur baby, Maddie. She is redefining what momhood means to her and strives to focus on the bright sides of being childless. Her hope is to inspire others to accept, embrace, redefine—discovering a Plan B that brings them joy!
You can email Brandi at: Not So Mommy Contact Form
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